I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
