Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
