Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
