she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I will pee on everything he values.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize