if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
