OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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