phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
