I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
