How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
my poor anus
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
