She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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