I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize