my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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