I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
