I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
