with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
