I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
