So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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