Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
