My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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