when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
