you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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