just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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