My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
