the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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