I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
