You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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