Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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