Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
