The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
