oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
