I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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