At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
