Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize