Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
