I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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