I accidentally burped into my bong.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
