Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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