Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
