so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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