Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
