guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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