I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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