You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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