you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
