ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
