Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
did i just pee glitter
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
