I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
