holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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