I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
