so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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