He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
