i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
