Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
