Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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