The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
